A Letter to Tammy Duckworth

I’ve been following your campaign with interest and I have a grave concern about your candidacy.  You see, Congress currently has a 10% approval rating from the American people and that is a somewhat low bar to slink under.  Frankly, Tammy, I’m not sure you are up to it.  However, we can see where you currently stand and just how low you might have to sink in order to fit in with these creatures.

By John Sullivan

Dear Tammy, let’s see… You were hand-picked by Mike Madigan to run in a district lovingly gerrymandered to elect a Democrat.  This will get you quite a bit closer to the 10% level.  You probably have some idea about how we feel about your patron and those he controls, but you will have to drop lower than being handmaiden to the devil in order to carry your own in the U.S. Congress.

Of some help is the support you received from “Dirty Harry” Reid, “Nattering Nancy” Pelosi, and “Trader Dick” Durbin.  As soon as you announced your candidacy, these three of our esteemed Congressmen immediately sent you campaign money.  We really love these folks because they are publicly accused of various sleazy financial deals such as trading on inside information, accepting lucrative IPO’s from a credit card company with legislation on the table, and using earmarks to benefit their personal real estate holdings.  Well, Tammy, this will drop you down an additional amount, but you’re still not close to a 10% approval level.

It’s good to see you take some initiative in this area.  We see you have cheated on your real estate taxes, and this is a big step in the right direction.  We love it when our public officials feel entitled to exempt themselves from the laws that apply to the rest of us.  This takes you closer to that 10%.  We notice too that you have no objection to your President doing all he can to keep those in the service overseas from voting.  It seems that that he feels that the majority of them will not vote Democratic.   Pontificating about how much you want to do for those in the military, while you have no objection to their betrayal when it serves your interests, gives you that air of hypocrisy that we find so prevalent in Congress.  Well done!

Then there is that business of wasting money that taxpayers intended for veterans on a lavish, $2,500,000 junket in Hawaii. We find it endearing when our officials use our money for their own benefit instead of the purpose for which we gave it. Tammy, I believe you are catching on to this!  Getting endorsements from public unions and taking their insidious money is another step towards the bottom.  We just adore how teachers take our money, give it to the union in dues, the union uses this money to bribe our legislators, who pass laws in favor of teachers that we wind up having to pay for.  What’s not to like about teachers who take money from their own communities and use it to screw our own communities?  But, Tammy, what the heck!  Dirty money spends just like clean money, and you’re going to use it on a “smear campaign” anyway.

We notice as well that most of your campaign money comes from New York, California, and Washington D.C. – and not from your own district.  We love it when we realize where your loyalties will lie, and they are not with us.  We also love it when you criticize about a third of your constituents who identify with such “crackpot ideas” such as fiscal responsibility, term limits, and a more responsible government.  We note that you spend little time with your constituents at public meetings and you resist debating the very serious issues facing us, and, in general, give us the impression that your only interest in us is our votes.  After all, our only wish is to be but a step in your career path.  Tammy, you are going to fit right in!

You have taken both sides of the Obamacare issue, giving it unequivocal support, yet claiming that it has to be fixed.  You do not explain, but we know, that one doesn’t fix something unless it is broken.  You take both sides of the tax issue by claiming that the rich should pay more, but only those whose income is above a million dollars a year.  This tax increase would fund the federal government for about eight hours.  Like most of Congress, you hope that we do not notice that you learned your economics at…at….well, nowhere.

We like nothing better than these “forked tongue” policy positions.  It is to your credit that, while never serving in Congress, you seem to have an unerring instinct as to what we despise in our representatives. You offer us “more of the same” when we want “extremely different”.   We await your smear campaign and note that anyone who acts in this fashion in inherently dishonorable. 

Should you get elected, you will find Nancy Pelosi’s lap to be a welcome place as long as you vote exactly as she says.  Of course, this has nothing to do with the interests of your constituents, but it will be good for your career.  Remember – you want votes from your constituents, but you will owe your loyalty to Pelosi, Reid, and Durbin. Make friends with “Trader Dick” Durbin.  He knows all about that inside trading stuff!  You will have much to learn about voting on bills you haven’t read, using taxpayer money to get yourself reelected, going on fact-finding trips bankrolled by lobbyists, and whether red or white wine goes with sociopathy.  Don’t worry about achieving that 10% approval rating, though – you’re pretty much there already!